I Wear Red for Ed!

On this drizzly day in Kentucky, I'm reminded of the many teachers, parents, and students who have been standing in the rain for the past four days in Los Angeles. I'm not here to talk politics or debate policies. I'm just here to share some facts about the real experiences of teachers for you to consider when deciding whether or not to give your support.

My husband is in his third year teaching high school band in Evansville, Indiana. He went to college for four years at public university with in-state tuition of about $8,750 a year. That is in addition to housing (which averages at $2,600 a semester), food (the cheapest meal plan is $1,690 a semester), and textbooks (which is, on average $655 a year, according to the National Association of College Scores). You can see in the chart to the right that all of these expenses add up very quickly, and over 4 years, one would accumulate approximately $71,940 worth of debt.

Now I understand, these numbers are subject to change each year and are based on a variety of factors. Private schools are significantly more expensive, and financial aid is often available to students to help outweigh the cost of college. My point is that teachers, along with a lot of other professionals, often are burdened with debt upon their graduation.

However, teachers are different from other professionals in that they often can't afford this debt with their full time career. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average salary for an individual in the U.S. with a Bachelor's Degree is $66,456. But teachers in the U.S. are only averaging just over $58,000 (according to the 2016 figures from the National Education Association.

To display my point even further, I sat down and calculated the amount of time that my husband spends at work (see image to the left). I figured that he makes a little bit more than the beginning teacher since he teaches band and receives a stipend for working weekends and 4 weeks during the summer. He works an estimated 2,259 hours a year. That, at $50,000, is about $22.13 an hour.
Compare this to the $31.73/hour rate of someone who makes the average $66,000/year and works 2,080 hours (40 hours a week for 52 weeks in a year, which is a little generous considering holidays and vacations).

Now you might be thinking that this is an exaggeration... but it really is not. In fact, this does not even count the other professional development meetings during the summer, fundraising events he has to monitor, or the countless hours that he spends at home planning.

All of this to just get told that he doesn't have a "real job" (yes, he really has been told that) because music isn't a "real" class. This same disrespect spreads across disciplines. I can't even count the many times that I was told that teaching Elementary school wasn't a "real career" because it's just babysitting and coloring.

There is a crisis in education! And it's not just about test scores or drop out rates.

It's about the teachers who are disrespected with underwhelming paychecks while teaching and caring for children with overwhelming class sizes. It's about teaching with a lack of resources and a lot of political pressure.

And it's about time that we support our teachers!

I'm done feeling guilty for being happy!

If you're a mom like me, the list of things that make you happy could go on for days. I don't know if it's the newfound joy of motherhood, or just the fact that we never get a moment alone, but the bar is suddenly set very low.

And yet, we still feel so guilty about doing anything that makes us happy, regardless of how simple and insignificant it may seem. I catch myself tearing myself down for sleeping in until my daughter wakes up. I feel anxious when I spend $3 on a top for myself from Goodwill. I don't even want to tell my husband what I've done during the day, because while he was at work, I might have opted to watch a chick flick instead of doing the dishes.

When I got pregnant, I stopped getting my nails done. As a new future mother, I was bombarded by "dos" and "don'ts" from all of the books, articles, "support" groups, Facebook posts, family, and even strangers.

"The chemicals will harm the baby!"
"You can't wear any nail polish, makeup, or perfume!"
"How can you spend money on yourself when you have a baby to think about?"
"You can't afford a baby on a single income!"

Now, I won't say that those people meant to be offensive, and it's important to think about the health and financial future of your baby.

But I let the opinions of others effect my happiness. I let their questions guilt me. Even if they didn't say anything, I let the potential for judgement give me anxiety.

I'm done. I'm done tearing myself down. I'm done letting other people make my decisions. And I'm done feeling guilty about being happy.

I'm a good mom, and so are you! We may raise our kids differently, but we know our kids better than anyone else. We will never be perfect, but if we strive for greatness with love in our hearts, we'll be pretty dang close!

So I'm going to get my nails done. What are you going to do for yourself?

I hate my lips.

Throughout my entire life, even as a child, there has been one part of my body in particular that I wanted to change: my lips. I can remember trying to bite and peel the excess skin in the center of my top lip, wishing it were thin and smooth. My efforts always failed, and they instead created extra unwanted attention with redness and additional swelling. I eventually quit trying, but I never stopped hating the shape of my lips.

The evidence was irrefutable;
this was my husband's daughter.
(Left: Ellie Rose, 3 weeks old
Right: Logan, 2 months old)

In October of 2018, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I had spent 9 months wondering what the face forming inside of me would look like. After her birth, it became obvious that she favored my husband in her looks. Family members noticed how incredibly similar she looked to my husband when he was a baby; his mom even made a side-by-side comparison with photos. The evidence was irrefutable; this was my husband's daughter.

The shape of her face, the shortness of her nose, and even her red hair... all from him. There was, however, one quality that she got from me: her lips. In some ironic humor, God had given her my lips.

Initially, I was frustrated and became defensive when people mentioned the similarity. But now I sit here, two months later, with a beautiful sleeping child in my arms. I breathe in her scent, hold her tiny fingers, and attempt to memorize every detail of this moment.

I whisper to tell her how beautiful and perfect she is, hoping that she will never question it or doubt her worth in this world. But then, my eyes focus in on her lips. And I become teary-eyed thinking about how I could never imagine changing a thing about her, yet I spent so much of my life wishing it weren't there.

I breathe in her scent, hold her tiny fingers,
and attempt to memorize
every detail of this moment. 

I spend much of my day thinking of my daughter- wondering if she'll have her dad's musical abilities or my sense of humor; wondering if she'll be smart or athletic; wondering if she'll be a teacher like her parents, or find her own unique path to follow. Then, I think about my role in her life: how I can stimulate brain growth, planning activities and trips to help her learn and how I can best support her every day of her life.

Here's the thing though: research shows that our children follow our lead. If I want her to love reading, I have to first be seen reading. If I want her to be healthy and physically active, I can't eat the whole tub of ice cream in one sitting. And if I want her to love herself, I have to first begin to build myself up.

Staring into my daughter's eyes, I'm reminded that she is going to see my life as an example, and I must jump in with both feet to be the best role model that I can be. I must believe and act in the way that I want her to behave, and that means that I must finally stop hating my lips.